Over time, dating has transitioned to flirting in-person to flirting over the phone. Sure, some people still prefer the traditional way of dating. But nowadays, the initial stages of dating (from getting to know each other to courting) primarily happens over the phone, or most commonly, via Chat line.
What is a Chat line and How Does it Work?
A chat line is a phone dating service that connects a pool of callers with each other. It is being offered by various companies with different line numbers. Below is a step-by-step process of how it works:
- Call any chat line number.
- Once the call goes through, you will be prompted to record a personal greeting that will serve as your profile. A personal greeting may include your name or any information you want them to know about you and most importantly, it includes what exactly you’re looking for. This recorded greeting is what other callers will hear as they browse through the other chat line callers.
- After recording your greeting message, you can start browsing through the callers and you will get to hear their greetings. You have the option to skip, send a chat request, and block.
- Select a caller you want to talk to by sending them a chat request. If the caller is available, they will immediately be notified about your request. Otherwise, they will be notified about your request as soon as they become available.
- Once your request has been accepted, the two of you can enjoy a private conversation over a secure line that won’t reveal your phone number. That way, you can maintain your privacy and remain anonymous.
Technically, a chat line is the phone dating version of the dating app Tinder where strangers can connect and mingle.
The real question is, what’s the difference between flirting in person and flirting via Chat line? Most people want to know which is a better method to find the love of your life whom you’ll spend the rest of your life with.
In order to help you determine which route should you take, we’ve come up with the pros and cons of flirting in person and flirting via Chat line.
The Pros of Flirting in Person and Flirting via Chat line
Flirting in Person:
- Eye contact and physical contact is possible
- Body language is visible
- Presence of mutual friends
- Presence of chemistry between two parties can be determined sooner
Flirting via Chat line:
- A deeper connection beyond physical can be established
- Ability to maintain your anonymity
- Higher chances of meeting a lot of new people from all places
- Safe and convenient interaction
The Cons of Flirting in Person and Flirting via Chat line
Flirting in Person:
- Greater exposure to physical harassment
- Ability to meet new people is limited to the geographic area
- Increased levels of shyness and nervousness on dates
Flirting via Chat line:
- Higher risk of being catfished
- True identity and relationship status is indiscernible
- Lack of physical interaction
Even with all these given data, the answer is clear: it is not a one-size-fits-all formula. Relationship preferences vary from person to person. The best way to determine which route you should take is to experience both methods, undergo trial and error, and allow your experience to teach you which works best for you.
It doesn’t matter if you prefer flirting in person or flirting via Chat line, we could all use some tips on how to flirt effectively. Flirting in person can be easily achieved by a little bit of touching (or a lot, often unnecessary), seductive eye contact, and excessive smiling.
But flirting over the phone can get a little bit complicated, how are you supposed to flirt successfully over the phone when you obviously can’t do any of that? Check out the tips below to learn how to flirt like a pro whether it’s in person or via a Chat line:
Tips on How to Flirt in Person
This goes without saying, we always want what we can’t have. When you’re attracted to someone, the biggest mistake you can do is throw yourself at their feet.
Nobody wants something that is easy to get, it’s a psychology thing. The best response would be to formally introduce yourself (if you don’t know them) and make them know that you’re interested, but not too interested.
Ditch the lame pick-up lines and be witty.
Gone are the days when pick-up lines actually work. Before you even finish saying your “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven” line, he or she has already decided that you have absolutely no game.
If you want to get their attention, you must stand out from the rest. In short, you want to be someone who naturally spits out funny, clever comments in a crowd where everyone is so caught up in lame, old pick-up lines.
Instead of blurting out common compliments such as “You’re beautiful” and “You’re sexy”, try to be a little more creative. You can say something like:
“I like how your dress brings out the blue in your eyes.”
“Wow! Your red shirt suits your skin tone very well.”
“I like the way you styled your hair. It emphasizes your beautiful face even more.”
Unique compliments have a way of making people realize that you see something in them that most people don’t see. The words pretty, cute, and sexy is probably what everyone says about them and they hear it so much that it starts to become meaningless. By giving compliments differently, you’re showing that you’re unlike everyone else and you’re sincere. So, spill out compliments but don’t overdo it or you’ll be labeled as creepy.
Stay close and let your skin SUBTLY touch.
If you want someone to know that you like them, the best way to do this is by staying close to them but not uncomfortably close. Stay close enough that your arms, knees, or hands lightly brush against each other. One way to determine how close is uncomfortable to the other person is by paying attention to cues. More often than not, this is something that can easily be missed, but keep a watchful eye and you’ll see the hints.
Do they lean towards you? If so, that’s usually a good sign.
Do they keep their eyes on their phone whenever you’re initiating a conversation? If so, they want you to leave but they don’t have the guts to tell it in your face.
Pay attention to these cues and you’ll know whether your presence is wanted. You don’t want to keep making moves on someone who thinks you’re harassing them.
Stop beating around the bush and ask them out.
If you have come at this point and all the previous tips have been successful so far, it is likely that they are interested in you too. It is time to step up your game and stop beating around the bush. Chances are, they are waiting for you to say it. So, just do it. Politely ask for their number. Ask them if they want to go grab a coffee or see a movie some time.
If they say they’ll think about it, it’s possible that they want to say yes but don’t want to look easy. If this happens, give them your number and tell them to text you once they have decided. This move gives you the upper hand and shows that you are not desperate. It works like a charm!
If they reject the offer, just smile and let it go. Don’t hold a grudge and avoid making bitter remarks. Be thankful that they were honest with you (even if it hurts) and they weren’t planning to lead you on. When this happens, tell them it was great meeting them and move on.
If they accept, congratulations! You’re now one step closer to winning them over.
Tips on How to Flirt via Chat line
This is probably the most important factor when flirting over the phone. Even though the person you’re talking to can’t see you, when you're nervous or tense, it will greatly affect your voice and the way you speak. The first step to flirt effectively is to relax. The last thing you want to happen is to freeze during a conversation and go through the unbearable awkward silence until the other person finally decides to hang up. Then, you sit there, wondering how amazing the two of you could have been together if only you hadn’t been nervous.
Remind yourself that flirting is not an audition, wherein there are certain guidelines and rules you must follow. Flirting doesn’t have to be executed perfectly, you just have to be your true self. After all, what you’re looking for is someone who would accept who you are and not someone who likes the person you’re pretending to be. Once you acknowledge these things, it will help you relax and everything will fall into its place.
Excessive smiling takes place when you’re flirting with someone in person, but how can someone you’re talking to on a call know that you’re smiling? By laughing or giggling! It is one of the best ways to let someone over the phone know that they’re making you happy. However, keep in mind to avoid overdoing it. The last thing you want to do is to laugh or giggle at every single thing the other person says, especially if he or she is talking about a family member who passed away. Also, it is important that you giggle in a soft, charming manner.
Encourage them to talk about themselves.
Talk too much about yourself and they will think you’re too self-absorbed. Talk too much about them and they will think you’re deeply invested way too early. There should be a healthy mix of talking about you and talking about them.
If they don’t seem to be keen on talking about themselves, take the lead, and ask questions. There are a lot of things to talk about: hobbies, favorite food, childhood memories, favorite movies, and more. Encouraging them to talk about themselves and asking questions about their interests will show them that you are interested, which is exactly the message that should get across.
However, be mindful of asking questions that are too personal especially in the early stages of dating. In addition, steer clear from talking about religion, politics, and any other topics that might cause disagreements.
Giving compliments can be a bit complicated if you’re not talking in person. You can’t compliment physical attributes simply because you don’t see them. But the good thing is, compliments aren’t limited to physical attributes, you can say any of the following examples as you see fit:
“Your voice sounds good.”
“You seem like a good-hearted person.”
“I like the way you confidently express your opinions.”
Also, compliments like these will always sound more sincere compared to compliments that are based on physical attributes alone. Most people tend to appreciate being called intelligent and kind rather than being called beautiful and sexy.
Agree, React, and Relate.
Flirting in person is usually associated with a lot of eye contact, which shows that they are engaged, listening, and seeking a deeper connection. Over the phone, you won’t be able to look the other person in the eye, but you can make audible “Mhmm” or “Oh, wow.”
Reactions to indicate that you are paying attention to what they’re saying and you’re listening. Without audible reactions, the other person may feel like he or she is talking to a wall.
Showing that you are engaged in the conversation may also take in the form of relating. It can be done by listening while the other person tells a story about his or her life, and relating to the story in your own way.
Relating is also considered a way of mental mirroring, which is somewhat similar to mirroring the body language when flirting face-to-face as a way to show a sign of interest.
Most importantly, relating shows that you and the person you’re flirting with have something in common, which improves the chances of the two of you being in a relationship.