March 19, 2021
Facing the dilemma that comes with a failed relationship can be very frustrating. At some point, you'll find yourself wondering what went wrong as you try to figure out what you could have done to prevent it from happening. If you happen to be in this situation right now, stop blaming yourself. All relationships go through rough patches, and sometimes, things can really fall apart. Battling with human emotions is difficult as it is, but it doesn't mean that you're helpless.
Are you feeling hesitant about closing this chapter in your life and moving on? Do you refuse to accept that this person is just another "the-one-that-got-away" in your life? If this is how you feel, you can try to win your ex back and prove to the world that love is indeed sweeter the second time around.
In any case that you would fail, knowing that you did your best to revive a broken relationship can spare you from a trail of regrets later on. Therefore, while you can, putting things into the right perspective is the best way to find out if you're really meant to be or otherwise.
If you're wholeheartedly determined to go through odds and ends to put things back to how they used to be, prepare yourself physically and mentally for what lies ahead. Swallow your pride and prepare to put your battle gear on because you're about to face one of the toughest challenges in your life – getting your ex back into your arms.
So what would it take for you to win a second chance at love? Let's uncover the different ways on how to get your ex back without acting desperate and looking pathetic.
1. Make a Careful Assessment of the Situation.
Is your relationship worth fighting for? What are your reasons for wanting to get your ex back? How strongly do you feel that this person is the right one for you? These are just some of the questions that you need to ask yourself. Be rational enough to know exactly what you're fighting for and why you're willing to go through the trouble.
If you believe that your relationship is worth another try and that you can still convince your ex to come back to you, then you may keep your hopes up. Otherwise, keep contemplating your motives to come up with at least one good justification as to why you want your ex back. A careful assessment of your breakup (including the persons involved and overall situation) would enable you to arrive at a mature decision and logical plan on how to win your ex back.
2. Learn How to Set Aside Your Pride and Anger.
Winning your ex back and convincing him/her to come back to you means that you'll have to swallow your pride and anger. You have to express your desire to have them back, so you can make up and start over. Unfortunately, this is one of the most difficult things to do – unless you have the guts to go for it. If you're able to pull this off successfully, you can truly say that love is sweeter the second time around.
How are you going to set aside your pride and anger? First, learn to apologize for your mistakes and admit your shortcomings. Second, don't attempt to justify your wrong moves and decisions. Third, express your intention to try again by asking for another chance. And lastly, commit not to make the same mistake again.
The best way to execute this step is to meet your ex personally. Don't do it by phone or by text message because your intent can easily lose its meaning if you don't exert any effort. If you feel that unexpectedly knocking on her door and approaching him/her is not a good idea, you may ask to meet up so you can talk in private. After all, proper communication is the only way to resolve conflicts and clear the air in a relationship. You owe that to each other.
So don't hesitate to do whatever you think would work depending on the circumstances. Running that extra mile to get your ex back is the surest way to set aside your pride and ill feelings over your breakup.
3. Pop the Question.
Sometimes, apologizing for our mistakes is not enough to set things straight. We often take for granted the most important thing that comes after an apology, which is making up for our shortcomings. The same thing applies if you want to win your ex back. To redeem yourself, it's essential to ask what you can do to make up. By doing so, you're expressing your willingness to patch things up from your end.
To get back with your ex, you must not be afraid to ask the question, "What can I do to make it up to you?" It's one way of taking the initiative to give your relationship a fresh start, just in case your ex would agree to give it one more try.
4. Give Each Other Time and Space to Overcome Negative Emotions.
Don't be afraid to spend some time apart with your ex regardless of how much you want to get back together. To avoid having the same problem and conflicts all over again, it's important to get in tune with your emotions first before deciding to give your relationship another try. It is only through time and space that you'll be able to realize each other's worth and how much your relationship means.
If you want to get your ex back, don't act based on your impulses and never make decisions at the height of your emotions. This is where you can potentially fail and turn out to be pathetic. Instead of acting on impulse, spend some time on your own to calm down, think, and weigh the situation.
Be mature enough to prioritize and fix yourself. Then, try to figure out if getting back together is the right thing to do – or if it's really what you want. As long as you're certain that your ex is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you can develop a rational and well-grounded plan to win her affection back.
5. Prove That You Are Worthy of a Second Chance.
It is not easy to bring back what is lost. As the cliché goes, you cannot fix what is broken. However, if you deserve it, things have a way of falling back into place. The fact that love transcends anything, including time, space, and circumstances, is reason enough to believe that you can have another shot in your relationship. You just have to prove that you deserve it.
So, if you want to get your ex back, prove that you are worthy of that chance. There are many ways to do this, and you can start by becoming a better person. Try to be more understanding, caring, and appreciative. Work on your patience and ability to communicate your thoughts. Learn from your past mistakes, vow to change your bad habits, and commit to making things right to avoid ruining your relationship again.
It may not be easy to prove your worth overnight, but you can always start from somewhere. As long as you're willing to make healthy compromises, you can have a fresh start and establish a brand new relationship again.
6. Don't Beg and Run After Your Ex.
Getting your ex back may be tough and possibly heartbreaking. However, it doesn't mean that you have to beg for attention and run after him/her just to ask for a second chance. This can make you look desperate beyond words, and it may seem like you want your ex to run back to you out of pity. Therefore, don't lose yourself in the process. Keep your integrity intact even as you try to fix things between you.
As much as you're willing to set aside your pride, apologizing for your mistake and expressing your willingness to make up are the only things you can do. Begging and running after your ex would only add weight to the situation. It can drive them further away from you. The more you force things to go your way, the more that they become elusive. Just try to explain yourself with all honesty and express your eagerness to try again, but keep your dignity and self-respect intact.
7. Take Your Time in Rebuilding Trust.
Depending on the cause of your breakup, consider making an effort to rebuild trust. This is perhaps the most challenging thing to do because trust is the basic foundation of any relationship. Keep in mind that your actions communicate a lot about how much you're willing to invest in bringing back trust in your relationship and each other. If you're the one at fault, it's going to be a long and laborious process since it's not easy to bring back what is already lost.
To rebuild trust, it's crucial to "act more and talk less". It doesn't help to make promises because your actions can easily break your words. The most sensible thing to do is to take it one step at a time. Don't rush things by convincing your ex to get back into your relationship in a heartbeat. Trust is not something that you can force or imply on a person. There are no shortcuts to it. Instead, honor the time that it takes to start over and establish trust through your actions. Accept that if it's meant to be, it's going to be worth it.
8. Offer Solutions.
If you're trying to get your ex back, how certain are you that things would turn out differently this time? What can you do to reassure her that your relationship is still worth one more try? To get your ex back, you must know exactly where you went wrong, and you have to determine workable solutions to avoid having the same problem again. In this case, offering solutions might help revive your relationship.
However, you have to be realistic because problems are inevitable in every relationship. Therefore, along with the solutions, you also have to come up with good resolutions. For instance, commit to acknowledging the problems in your relationship and working together to overcome them. Additionally, find a means to avoid misunderstandings, respect each other's boundaries, establish open communication, and develop a fair set-up that works best for you.
9. Accept the Idea of Just Being Friends.
For some couples that broke up, getting back together is not the most practical solution. Depending on the breakup's cause, being friends seems more like a mature step to preserve what's left in the relationship. It's like building a bridge instead of a wall between you, wherein you can try to keep your distance without blocking each other.
This particularly applies between married couples, those who have kids, and couples with the same circle of friends or work line. Based on these circumstances, winning your ex back could mean being okay with just being friends – in the meantime. This is for the sake of the people around you and the situation at hand. In time, when the smoke has finally cleared out, and you find a perfect opportunity to pursue your ex again, you can cross the bridge to find out if you're still welcome.
Being friends may not be your idea of "getting back together", but it's the surest way to keep the doors open to maintain your connection.
True love is hard to come by. This could be the reason why you'd want to get back with your ex. If you believe that your relationship deserves another try, then, by all means, do whatever it takes to win her back. However, make sure not to lose yourself in the process. Own up your mistakes and apologize, but don't allow your emotions to manipulate you.
The best thing you can do to get back what is lost is to prove that you are worthy of it. Instead of pushing things to go your way, become a better person and learn from your mistakes. Learn how to value the people in your life and be more compassionate to others. Bear in mind that if you and your ex are meant to be together, all your efforts won't go to waste, and things would eventually fall back into the right place.