How to Reject Someone

For most people, rejecting someone is not an easy task. Even if you do not feel bad doing it, which you should not because it’s perfectly normal not to be interested in everyone interested in you, you might have difficulty delivering the rejection.

Even if you are prepared to reject someone, and you know exactly what to say, until you actually say it, it is very likely you might feel anxious leading up to it. Of course, other people can easily reject someone, but that’s not always the case.

What Is Rejection?

Rejection can come in many different forms. In dating, rejection is letting someone know you don’t wish to pursue anything with them. Essentially, by rejecting them, you are turning them down. You’re giving the message that you are not interested in them and don’t want to date them.

Part of rejection is the other person’s reaction as well. You may need to prepare yourself for the kind of reaction they might have and how to best navigate that situation.

Reasons You May Be Rejecting Someone

There are many reasons you might be rejecting someone. Before learning how to reject someone, make sure you can identify why you are rejecting that person.

1. You don’t see a future with them. Perhaps you have been dating someone for a while; however, you haven’t made anything official, and you don’t wish to because you don’t see a lasting future with that person. In this case, it is very important that you reject them kindly.
2. You don’t want to date them. Maybe you recently met this person, and they are interested in dating you, but you don’t share that same interest. This is another situation where you will have to present someone with a rejection.
3. There is no chemistry. If there is no chemistry between you and the other person, there is no reason to keep seeing them, and rejection is necessary.

How to Lose Rejection Fears

Don’t fear rejection. It’s easier said than done. However, rejection is a part of life. The sooner you learn how to accept the possibility of rejection; the easier approaching people will be. People with a fear of rejection tend to lose opportunities throughout multiple aspects of their lives, from work-related opportunities to relationship opportunities.

If you practice receiving rejection in a calm and collected manner, you will be able to overcome your fear of rejection quickly. Another benefit of having a good understanding of rejection, what it feels like, and how to not let it bother you is that you will be able to reject people more kindly so as not to hurt their feelings.

Even if you’re not interested in someone, it’s important to always be considerate, even when rejecting them.

Types of Rejections

There are many ways to go about rejecting someone, good ways, and bad ways. The following list of types of rejections gives examples of both types of rejections. Take this as a brief lesson on how to and how not to reject someone.

Direct rejection.

When you are rejecting someone directly and concisely, you don’t give a broad explanation as to why you are rejecting them, and you simply do it. You deliver the message, and that is it. It is the most focused type of rejection.

The benefits of choosing this type of rejection are that you avoid going back and forth with the person, and you can move on from the whole situation quicker.

Considerate rejection.

It is possible to combine a direct rejection with a considerate rejection. When you are rejecting someone in a considerate way, you don’t necessarily have to elaborate too much, but you want to make sure you are using kind words to let them down easily yet firmly to avoid confusion.

If you proceed in that way, you reject someone directly and considerately. However, if being direct isn’t so important to you, and you wish to elaborate a little more, that is okay too. Perhaps you feel you owe them an explanation of some kind, or you want to ease into the rejection because you care about that person’s feelings regardless of whether you are rejecting them.

If that is the kind of rejection you are looking to give, then a considerate rejection is what you should aim for.

Non-clear rejections.

This is the kind of rejection you definitely want to avoid. If you are not clear when rejecting someone, they will not understand that they are being rejected, and therefore you will feel as though they are not going away. It is best to be clear when you reject someone to achieve what you want.

Ghosting as a rejection.

This is a very popular way of rejecting someone without directly rejecting them. It is not a very positive way to reject someone, and it is rather avoidant. This leaves loose ends and confusion for the person who is being rejected by being ghosted, and that could come back to you later on if they feel as if they are owed some kind of explanation.

How to Reject Someone Nicely

The best thing you can do is treat others how you wish to be treated, even when rejecting someone. Imagine how you would prefer to be rejected and considerately reject the person keeping that in mind.

Schedule a time to meet.

An in-person rejection can be more difficult than over the phone or via text. However, sometimes, it is necessary. If this is the case, the first step in rejecting the person is setting a time to meet up and talk about the situation.

Be direct but considerate.

Be direct with the reasoning behind your feelings, but also considerate with their feelings. Understand they may take this well, or they may be upset and bothered by what you tell them. The better thought out your words are, the better they will take it. When we think about what we will say before taking action, we often communicate better.

Avoid communication afterward.

After the rejection, avoid communicating with this person. Allow them to give you the space you ask for by rejecting them. Since you are the one who is not interested in pursuing anything with them, you won’t have any lingering feelings.

However, this might not be the case for the person who was rejected. Everyone should have some space to move forward in the best way possible.

Benefits of Knowing How to Reject Someone Nicely

There will always be benefits when doing something nice, even if what you’re doing is rejecting someone.

You won’t feel guilty afterwards.

It is common to feel guilty after you have rejected someone because they probably didn’t feel the best after receiving your rejection. If you reject someone nicely, at least you won’t feel guilty about how you told them, and you will have peace of mind that although they are feeling their feelings, you acted nicely.

No bad blood.

If you reject someone nicely, there will be no bad blood between the two of you. Although their initial reaction might not be the nicest, once they have processed the rejection and they can move on from it, there will be nothing left unresolved.

Control the outcome.

When rejecting someone, you can control the outcome simply by being kind. If you care about letting the other person down, you will almost always have a decent outcome. Nobody wants conflict or to deal with hurt feelings. By controlling the outcome, you are in control of the whole situation. It is up to you to choose the best way to reject people.

Don’t lose future opportunities.

Sometimes people talk, and they spread stories of how different things may have happened. There will be nothing bad to say about you if you act nicely. If no one has anything bad to say about you, the way people see you will not be tainted, and you will not lose future opportunities.

In conclusion

Rejection, in general, is not always simple or easy. Many times someone’s feelings may be hurt, but if it’s necessary, it must be done. To best accomplish your goal of rejecting someone nicely, make sure you identify why you are rejecting this person.

They will probably ask, and being able to answer will provide closure for them. Also, remember to be nice and considerate while delivering the rejection. Since it is not something that feels the best, doing it kindly can be very beneficial.

Be conscious of how the other person may be feeling, and expect them not to act normally because they are processing and accepting what happened.