BlogWhat to Talk About on the First Phone Call

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What to Talk About on the First Phone Call

By Danielle Derne

Congratulations! If you're reading this, it means that you've probably got someone's number. Or you're preparing for what to do when you finally ask them for it.

Either way, it is crucial to create some kind of plan with goals so that you are prepared and can communicate effectively. No one wants to be asked out by someone who is constantly stumbling over their words. So take your time and work on keeping it cool to impress that person you're after.

Goals for the First Phone Call

In order to have a successful first phone call, you'll need to have some goals to follow along with. It will keep you on track and goal-oriented.

1. Keep things positive.

When you get off the phone, you'll want your crush to be smiling and thinking about the lovely conversation they just had with you. You want to keep things light and breezy in order to avoid a super deep phone call that may be overwhelming. The goal is to prevent the first phone call from becoming the last. If you can leave them excited for the next phone call, then you've accomplished all you could hope for.

2. Get their interest.

Phone calls aren't as common as texting now, and they require a lot of attention from both parties. If you can get them on the phone, you need to keep the conversation interesting and fun. Some flirtation and light humor can be the key to a bright phone call. You want them to leave the call thinking about you and how interesting you are. Don't forget to give them plenty of space to talk. Mystery can go a long way and draw a lot of people in. Keep them hooked.

3. Learn more about them.

The beginning of the dating process is all about learning everything you can about the person you are pursuing. Obviously, you'll want to avoid the deep and darker questions, but simple and fun facts are a great place to start. As you learn, don't forget to practice active listening to show them you care.

Remembering the little details from your conversation can benefit both of you if you are looking for more of a long-term situation. The more you learn on that initial call, the more in-depth questions you can (hopefully) ask on the first date.

4. Plan a date.

If the waters seem safe enough, you will want to dive in and go for it. The ultimate goal from a first phone call is to plan the first date in order to proceed and build your relationship further. Of course, not all first phone calls will go well enough to ask them on a date, so be sure to keep from pushing boundaries or asking too soon. If a date isn't an option, you could plan a second phone call in lieu of a date.

Topics for the First Phone Call

First phone call topics to engage in.
First phone call topics to engage in.

It can be difficult to know what to say. With added nerves and any social anxieties, it is very possible to get choked up. These topics will help you keep the conversation flowing.

Family and friends

Getting to know someone is important in the world of romance, and a person's social life is the perfect place to start. You'll want to stray from diving too deep, but a lot of people are fond of the others in their life, so it will be a fantastic way to get them talking. It will also help you learn about the people you will have to impress later on if the relationship continues.


Bringing up the things someone is most passionate about is a great way to show them that you have a genuine interest in them. You can ask more open questions about their goals and dreams, and it will be a great way to share things about yourself as well.

Informal questions

If the conversation is feeling dry or lacking, you may want to find some fillers. Asking them about all of their favorite things (restaurants, colors, etc.) can fill the silence and avoid a lull in the pace.

Their plans/routine

Without being too obvious, you can ask plenty of questions that will set the stage for asking them on a date. Talk to them about weekend plans, what their schedule looks like, and how their week might go. It's a great way to set up future questions and keep a casual tone to the call. This will help you figure out when they are free, and it may be a great opportunity to flirt before going for the big question.

A potential date

If the phone call is going well, and you're feeling confident enough, then you'll know it is time to put yourself out there. Without it being too random, ask them out on a date. It is best if you already have an idea planned so that things are swift and easy. It's important to make sure the timing is right, but you'll never know if you don't go for it. Taking a leap of faith is always a powerful thing to do, and it will prevent you from feeling regret and wondering what could have been.

Moments to Avoid on the Phone

Topics and moments to avoid on the first phone call.
Topics and moments to avoid on the first phone call.

Knowing what to avoid will help to keep you on track to make the most of the phone call. You have to be cautious when embarking on a phone call that holds as much importance as this one may. Understanding intricate social cues is a difficult task to master, but practice will help you become a phone call champion. Many people are using our free trial chat lines to experience real phone conversations while practicing their talking skills.

1. Awkward silence.

No matter how hard you try, there will still be bouts of awkward silences. But the goal should always be to avoid those moments and to keep them from lasting at all costs. Maybe you use fillers or ask random questions, or tell them some more about yourself. Keeping the conversation alive is key to surviving a lasting relationship.

2. Talking over them.

Give a pause after they speak to ensure that you aren't interrupting them. If a moment arrives where you both get tangled up speaking at the same time, just go with "you first" and take a step back. It's a kind and considerate thing to do and will exercise patience. Giving them the time to talk will not go unnoticed and show them how much you are interested.

3. Misunderstanding them.

When you go to make the call, you shouldn't be in a crowded area. Find a quiet space, and make sure you can have the conversation in private. This way, you can prevent lapses in conversation. The last thing you'll want is to lose the connection or confuse a moment that could be crucial for a relationship.

4. Making them uncomfortable.

Pushing someone into a situation that may make them uncomfortable is something you want to avoid at all costs. Respecting the person you are talking to is essential. So don't dive too deep into the questions, and don't push too far in places you know you shouldn't. Working to understand social cues is always an important task to achieve. Try to keep your cool and hold yourself with a confident, kind, and level head.

Wrapping Up

Whether the phone call thrives or not relies heavily on the tips and topics listed above. Learning as much as you can about someone while also giving them the opportunity to learn more about you as well.

Try not to take yourself as seriously as you may want to. This could prove to be a great learning opportunity, and you can have fun with it. The beginning of the dating process should be a fun and exciting experience. Don't get caught up in each word they say, as it won't get you anywhere.

Rejection may happen, but it is just something that goes on in the whirlpooling world of romance. Keep your head up. You'll be granted plenty of opportunities to date and have the first phone calls in your life. Remember that it is all in good fun, and a phone call is just a moment in your life.

It's just a phone call, and it may not be as life-changing as you hope. But it just may be the start of a wonderful thing for you. So focus on the excitement and possible opportunities, and go for that person you're crushing on.

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