We invest a lot of money, time, and energy on worldly possessions and trivial things chasing happiness. The truth is, happiness lies within and if we invest wholeheartedly into what matters-relationship with our loved ones, - we will never have an ounce sorrow weighing us down.
The secret to true and pure happiness lies in the strong and healthy relationships we keep with our partners.
Many people assume that once they fall in love with Cinderella or Prince Charming, the work is done, and the rest of their lives is all rainbows and sunshine.
Unfortunately, life does not work that way. Relationships are lifelong investments that require heaps of effort and a remarkable amount of focus. They need renewed vows and finding ways to fall in love again and again so that your beautiful love story does not fade into darkness.
Successful relationships become stronger by staying afloat through strong waves and tides.
They weather all kinds of storms. Successful couples know that they have to sync together and merge different paths into one. They know that constant efforts to please their partner eventually bear fruits.
So, how do we stay happy and make our relationships become stronger? The first step, which is basically the golden rule, is always finding ways to update and redefine our romantic fairytales.
Below are ten ways to find pure love, create true intimacy, and be truly happy with our better halves or life-long partners:
Developing communication skills in your relationships will save you a lot of agonies that come with misunderstandings. Poor communication skills in all relationships lead to partners playing the blame game and backstabbing, which arises as a result of ill feelings bottling up.
Most times, this happens because one of the partners feels that he or she has been misled. Couples who frequently check up on each other and have open channels of communication never make assumptions because they know how to interpret what the other means after having a conversation perfectly.
If you feel that you do not understand what your partner is trying to put across, do not shy away from asking questions. Ask your partner to clarify his or her statement.
If you cultivate a habit of asking questions, you will avoid dealing with situations that arise from misunderstandings. No one has ever erred by asking too many questions.
Effective communication also entails active listening. Listening is a silent form of flattery which makes people feel valued and supported. When we listen actively to what our partners are putting across, we will understand better what they feel, what they want, and what they are thinking.
So, if you want your relationship to grow stronger as time passes by, go away with the ‘blah blah blah’ attitude. The moment your partner’s words stop falling on deaf ears is the moment your relationship will begin to flourish.
2. Invest Quality Time with your Partner
We live at a time where money runs the world, and time is equated to money. In a world where time is crucial, we dedicate most of it grinding to make ends meet and forget what is truly important, our relationship with our loved ones.
Sadly, we have replaced spending ample time with our loved ones with interacting through technological and social media platforms. By doing this, we fail to build real rapport and establish real connections. Giving our loved ones our time is the most precious gift to them.
Take a break from your busy schedule every once in a while and spend time together. Go to the movies, take a walk down the beach, or prepare a meal together.
When we devote our energy, time, and effort to building and developing our relationship, we will reap the fruits of establishing long-lasting relationships.
3. Cultivate Trust
Trust is the pillar that keeps most relationships strong and standing. Trust is a key ingredient to making your love for each other grow stronger. It eliminates vices which weaken your bond such as jealousy, betrayal, lies and hiding information and keeping secrets from each other.
Trust brings about respect. It eliminates suspicion. If you trust each other, you will be quick to forgive and move on once your partner has wronged you.
4. Express your Love
Your partner indeed knows that you love them, but never assume this is always the case. You need to reassure them about how you feel about them constantly. Remind them what they mean to you.
Tell them that you care about them, that you love them and will go to the end of the world to be with them. Show your partner that you are her knight in shining armor. That you are her protector or his lifelong companion.
Never take your partner for granted. Everyone needs a little assurance now and then. Let the love flow. Let compliments and appreciation be the order of the day whenever you are around each other.
5. Develop and Cultivate Compassion
Learn to observe your partner as well as yourself without judging. You might hear the little voice in your head judge, but you should not follow what it says. Judging shuts many doors. Instead of judging, learn to practice compassion.
Compassionate couples are more available to dialogue, more connected to each other, and are always open to sharing what bothers them. When you are compassionate when dealing with your partner, you will easily understand them and the logic behind their decision making.
Practicing compassion will help you respond to situations appropriately rather than reacting.
6. Celebrate and Accept Differences
Our differences can be a major challenge to our relationships. We should learn to accept the fact that we are all different, and everyone is unique in their way. Instead of wasting our energies trying to bridge our differences, we should learn to embrace them.
We should know that not everyone will think and act as we do. That said, expecting our partners always to share our point of view is like trying to tame a half a century-year-old crow; it is impossible to always be on the same page with our partners.
The novelty of always being on the same page wears off or melts as fast as ice exposed the Sahara midday heat. So, celebrating and accepting our differences not only makes us better couples, but it also spices up our relationships in numerous different ways.
7. Learn to Take and Give Feedback
In any scenario or situation, feedback is food for progress. Although it might at times be a bitter pill to swallow, it can be perfect for your relationship. Providing constructive feedback to your partner helps them tap fully into their potential.
For centuries, feedback has helped millions of people forge mutually beneficially and positive relationships. It helps clear things up in case of misunderstandings. Any feedback you get from your partner is free information that will help sharpen and make you a better person.
When you learn to give and take feedback without flying off the handle, you tap into your blind spots and improve your relationships.
8. Create a “we” to house two “I’s.”
The foundation for growing and thriving relationships is to be separate and connected at the same time. In co-dependent relationships, both partners sacrifice a part of themselves for the betterment of their relationship. Couples who are separate and connected learn to make or transform the “I” to a “we.”
When you learn to make things about the two of you rather than about yourself, your relationship will be founded on common grounds. You will soon have a lot of things in common, and you will always have your partner in mind before you make any significant decisions.
9. Do Away with the Ego
Nothing destroys relationships as fast as ego. It is the last thing that you should allow to come between you and your partner. All couples in any relationship should understand that differences of opinion, disagreements, arguments, and misunderstandings will always arise.
However, how you get past them will be determined by your attitude. If you let ego come between the two of you, your relationship will deteriorate. Look at these conflicts as something that happened in the past and let it go. Never hold or bottle up frustrations. Be the bigger person and take the situation head-on and solve it.
Do not wait for the other person to come to you to solve your issues. Try resolving your conflict as soon as you spot it. Never hold grudges against your spouse. Doing so will only create a mountain from an anthill.
Learning to fuel your beautiful relationship with your partner will see both of you go a long way. When you and your partner are friends, you find common ground. You also share hobbies and find new ways of enjoying each other’s company.
Couples who are friends have a higher success rate of maintaining their relationship than those who don’t treat each other as friends. When you are friends with your partner, your friendship will always keep your relationship afloat even after the romance dies after being together for years.
Making your relationship grow stronger requires a lot of effort and commitment. You have to learn to embrace each other’s strengths and flaws. You also have to find new ways of keeping the spark of your romance alive.
Good relationships are fueled continuously by the partners involved. If you apply these ten rules to your relationship, you will soon realize that your relationship is growing stronger and stronger as the days go by.