All About One-Sided Relationships

What Is a One-Sided Relationship?

A one-sided relationship is a relationship that is not fueled by one of the two people involved. Often, it occurs when one person puts more effort into the relationship than another. This can be caused by various reasons, some of which we have listed below.

What Causes One-Sided Relationships?

One-sided relationships can be caused by various factors, and it is not always solely one person’s fault. In some cases, both individuals in the relationship contribute to its one-sided nature. Read on to explore some factors that can lead to a one-sided relationship.

1. Monotony.

If your life is excessively monotonous and lacks excitement or change, it could have a negative impact on your relationship. Monotony in a relationship can quickly lead to one-sidedness, particularly when only one person maintains a monotonous lifestyle while the other is more spontaneous and has different plans and activities in their daily life.

If you feel this is causing your relationship to be one-sided, try introducing some variety by engaging in activities you wouldn’t typically do, just to add some excitement.

2. Lack of time together.

Your relationship may become one-sided if you’re not spending enough quality time together. This becomes evident when one person consistently has more time to invest in the relationship than the other. The person who lacks time often attributes it to external factors such as work or other commitments.

While there may be circumstances that cannot be changed for the sake of the relationship, it’s important to prioritize and set aside time for your significant other, even if it’s a short amount of time.

3. Lost feelings.

There will be times when the feelings that were once there fizzle out for one of the people in the relationship, and they might not be aware of it, but they’ll start to excuse themselves from the relationship.

This means that they won’t put the same effort into the relationship they once did and won’t give much of themselves to the relationship.

4. Constant fighting.

If most of your conversations are actually fights, or you can’t seem to agree on anything in your relationship, this could cause your relationship to become one-sided. It can be exhausting to fight all the time with someone you’re supposed to love and share positive feelings with.

If this situation persists for too long, you’ll probably end up distancing yourself, even if it’s unknowingly.

5. Unwillingness to merge lives.

If you have been together for a while and one of you is unwilling to merge your lives and start sharing and building a future together, it can potentially result in a one-sided relationship.

It is essential to ensure that both partners are on the same page and moving at a similar pace to prevent the relationship from becoming one-sided.

6. Trauma.

If someone in the relationship carries their past trauma along, they may not be fully open to the current relationship they’re in, which can cause them to be closed off enough for their partner to feel like they’re the only one who is seriously committed and invested in the relationship.

7. Lack of communication.

A lack of communication in a relationship can contribute to it becoming one-sided because one person may not fulfill their responsibility to communicate effectively. This can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations for the person who does make an effort to communicate.

8. Growing apart.

People change in relationships, and sometimes that change causes you to grow apart from the other person. That’s normal, but you should try to communicate that instead of withdrawing from the relationship, allowing it to become one-sided.

9. Incompatibility.

You can genuinely like someone and not be compatible with them. Perhaps you are attracted to their looks or find them interesting, but if you’re not compatible, you won’t be able to connect with them, and that could make the relationship one-sided.

Questions to Determine if a One-Sided Relationship is Worth Saving

Some one-sided relationships aren’t worth saving, but others are worth fighting for. If you can answer ‘yes’ to most of these questions, it’s worth trying to save the relationship.

Do you see a future with this person?

Feeling like your relationship is one-sided can be temporary. It might be due to a stage of life you’re going through or your partner is going through. However, if you feel that you want a future with them and you can envision it, it’s probably worth fighting for this relationship.

Has your relationship recently become one-sided?

Usually, a one-sided relationship wasn’t always like that. It’s important to realize if your relationship is becoming one-sided early on so that you can make the necessary adjustments and solve any issues causing this. If you’ve settled into the one-sidedness of the relationship, it could be difficult to save it.

Do you really love this person?

You have to love someone a lot to put in the work to save the relationship. So, ask yourself what you truly feel for this person and make sure that you can imagine a future with them and genuinely love them.

How to Fix a One-Sided Relationship.

If you’ve decided that you want to try to fix your one-sided relationship, you’re going to need lots of patience. Figure out the problem, and then go through the checklist below to address the issues in your one-sided relationship.

1. Talk about what you need to fix.

The first thing you need to do is figure out what the problem is and talk about it. Have a healthy discussion with one another about what is wrong and why the relationship has become one-sided. If you want to fix this problem, there has to be a deeper underlying issue than growing apart or losing feelings. You need to figure it out together.

2. Figure out who is responsible.

This isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame to one another. It is important to genuinely understand who is responsible for the one-sided nature of the relationship. Have an open discussion to determine who has been retreating more and why they are doing so.

As you engage in this conversation with your partner, you will gain insights into what’s really going on. Alternatively, you may share why you have felt that way. By working together, both of you can find a solution to address the issue.

3. Improve your communication.

How well you communicate with your partner will play a big role in fixing your one-sided relationship. Improving your communication is important because you’ll need to talk about your feelings and how you see the relationship progressing. This will allow you to truly resolve the issues in your relationship.

4. Find more balance in your relationship.

In a one-sided relationship, there’s a lack of balance where one person puts more effort and shows up more than the other. If you’ve been following this process, you should have identified who that person is in step 2.

The key is to work together to find balance, which will stabilize the relationship and help you move out of the one-sided relationship zone.

5. Reconnect with your partner.

Now that you’ve tackled the difficult parts and are hopefully on the path to a more balanced relationship, it’s time to put in the work to reconnect with your partner.

Reset your relationship, and if possible, take a weekend away or enjoy a staycation without interruptions. Use this time to mend your relationship and truly reconnect with each other.

6. Seek professional help.

If all else fails, it might be time to seek professional help. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed or should give up just because you couldn’t fix things on your own. Solutions are still out there. Some individuals or relationships may require more guidance than others, and there’s absolutely no shame in that.

Wrapping it up, not all one-sided relationships are destined to be fixed. Sometimes, a relationship becomes one-sided as it approaches a breakup, with one person processing their feelings. The causes for a one-sided relationship can vary widely, differing from one relationship to the next.

If you’re intent on fixing it, ensure that your partner is on the same page and that they want the same outcome. Otherwise, you might find yourself doing all the work and perpetuating the one-sidedness of the relationship.

Salvaging these kinds of relationships can be challenging, requiring a concerted effort from both parties, but it’s usually worth the effort in the end.