9 Stages of Grief After a Breakup

Grief is a deep sadness you feel when experiencing some kind of loss. It can be a painful process, and there are various stages of grief, especially when going through a breakup. You might think that you can skip some stages or even believe you have skipped a stage, but it will eventually come back and affect you, so taking your time is important.

Be patient and kind to yourself during this process. It’s important to note that you don’t necessarily have to go through the stages of grief in the exact order that we have listed below, as it can vary from person to person.

For example, you might feel angry first, and then experience denial after feeling sorrow. Everyone is different, but we all go through the same general process of grief. Keep reading below to learn more about each stage of grief.

1. Denial.

Denial is the first stage of grief when going through a breakup, even if you were the one who initiated it. It can be difficult to accept that the relationship has ended and that your ex-partner is no longer a part of your life in the same way.

It’s common to feel a sense of denial, which may prevent you from accepting the reality of the breakup. However, this stage should only last for a short period of time. Getting stuck in denial about your breakup can impede your ability to move on, which is not a healthy way to cope with the end of the relationship.

2. Regret.

Regret is another common stage of grief, especially if you were the one who decided to breakup. If you and your ex-partner were in a long-term relationship, you might have questioned whether breaking up was the right decision or if you just needed to address certain issues and take some time apart.

If you struggled with the decision to breakup, you might feel instant regret during the first-week post-breakup. You may question if it was the right choice and even have the urge to reconcile with your ex-partner. However, it’s important to push past this stage and allow yourself time to get used to this change in your life, which can take some time.

3. Guilt.

Guilt is another common stage of grief when breaking up with someone. If you’re the one being broken up with, the reasons given by the other person may make you feel like everything that went wrong in the relationship was your fault.

You may start feeling guilty about the things that went wrong. On the other hand, if you’re the one breaking up with your partner, you may feel guilty for causing them pain. Either way, it’s difficult to avoid feeling guilt after a breakup. 

4. Anger.

Anger is another common stage of grief after breaking up with someone. Either person who was in the relationship can feel anger during this stage. They might realize things that were wrong in the relationship that they could not see sooner and feel angry for that reason.

They might also be angry that they had a certain idea of what their life was going to look like, and now it looks very different. A breakup can change many things, and anger can be a natural result of that change.

5. Sorrow.

Sorrow is a stage of grief that can be experienced after breaking up with someone. The depth of this emotion is usually greater when the relationship was long, or if you shared many milestones with your partner. It feels like a bigger loss when this happens, and you experience more than just sadness; you feel sorrow.

Unlike sadness, sorrow tends to last longer and can feel like a more intense form of sadness that you would not experience if the relationship had been short or insignificant.

6. Disappointment.

It’s common to feel disappointed that you spent so much time with that person only for the relationship not to work out. You might feel disappointed in yourself for mistakes that led to the breakup, or for how you have been handling the breakup if you don’t think you have been handling it well.

You could also feel disappointed in your ex for letting you down. You could feel disappointed about many things, but that shouldn’t stop you from healing from your breakup. Letting this feeling pass is okay; don’t dwell on things you can’t change. Disappointment is just one more stage in the post-breakup process.

7. Realization.

Realization is a stage of grief after a breakup that can be both relieving and confusing. You may start to realize things that were wrong in the relationship, recurring conflicts that needed to be addressed, and mistakes you made.

This can bring relief for being free from negative aspects of the relationship, but it can also be confusing since you may have been tolerating them for a long time. You may also be inspired to change and improve yourself. Although it’s not an easy stage, it ultimately brings relief.

8. Acceptance.

Acceptance is an important stage of grief after a breakup. You have been through all the difficult stages, such as feeling angry, regretting things you did in the relationship, disappointment, and everything in between. When you reach this stage, it means you have almost completed your grieving process.

You have finally accepted that you and your ex are no longer together, that the relationship didn’t work out, and it just wasn’t meant to be. You have also accepted that moving on from this relationship is okay.

9. Moving On.

Moving on is the final stage of grief after a breakup. Once you have completed the acceptance stage, you are ready to move on from the relationship completely. Leave everything behind, leave it all in the past, and have a fresh start.

Perhaps that means embracing your single life, or maybe you want to get back out there and date again. Whatever your choice may be, you are ready for what’s next.

Faqs

How long does the grieving process typically last after a breakup?

The duration of the grieving process after a breakup varies for each person, and is influenced by personal factors such as staying in contact with your ex or them trying to re-enter your life. If the relationship was brief and insignificant, the process may be shorter, lasting a few weeks to a couple of months.

However, if the relationship was long and meaningful, the process may take longer, spanning several months. Ultimately, the grieving process is unique to each individual.

Is it possible to skip a stage in the grieving process after a breakup?

It is not possible to skip a stage in the grieving process after a breakup, but it is possible to experience two stages simultaneously. For example, it is common for people to feel anger and sorrow at the same time as they often go together, but they still experience both stages. In most cases, people go through all of the stages to some extent, even if it’s very brief or happens in a different order.

Does this process apply to other kinds of grief?

The process of grieving after a breakup can be similar to other kinds of grief, such as when a friendship falls apart or when someone passes away. These types of grief may have slight variations, but for the most part, the stages are the same. At the end of the day, breaking up with someone is losing a person you loved deeply.

What if I haven’t experienced the stages of grief?

If you haven’t experienced the stages of grief after a breakup, it’s possible that you may not be allowing yourself to go through the process. Some people may not even realize that they’re avoiding or denying their emotions related to the breakup.

While it’s natural to want to move on quickly, avoiding grief can prevent you from fully healing and can lead to emotional issues down the line. Remember that the grieving process isn’t a sign of weakness or failure, but a necessary step in moving forward.

If I make it through all of the stages of grief, will I feel better?

Yes. After making it through all of the stages of grief you will feel relieved. You will feel free to fully move on. When you don’t go through the stages of grief, things from your past can easily haunt you, and it will be difficult to move on and be in another relationship. Although some of the stages of grief can be difficult, you will make it through them, and you will feel so much better about your breakup.

Conclusion

You might not want to go through the stages of grief after a breakup, but it’s best you take it step by step and get through it. Everyone who has been through a breakup has experienced these stages and the feelings that come along with it, you’ll make it!