Personal Questions to Ask a Girl

There comes a time after getting to know a woman that you decide to take things more seriously and really think about what questions you should ask her to get to know her better and ask the kind of questions that will determine whether or not you will take the relationship to the next step or remain friends.

What Is Considered a Personal Question?

A personal question is a question that probably isn’t your business to be asking, but you are interested in knowing to determine if it’s actually a good idea to continue pursuing the girl you like. These questions aren’t the typical questions someone aged 18-22 would usually ask. These are questions that normally older people ask those they are interested in to know if it’s worthwhile to invest time in that person.

As you get older, you have different priorities, and a relationship should only benefit your life and be a positive addition, not something that is stressful or problematic. This is why you need to know what to ask and how to ask.

How to Ask Her Personal Questions

There are lots of ways you can ask personal questions. It all depends on your personality and what works for you.

1. Halfway through a conversation.

Try to introduce the personal question at a point in the conversation where you’re talking about something that has to do with what you want to ask, and can be related to your own personal situation, so that then you can ask her, “what about you or what do you think about it”.

This makes the approach to ask that personal question more casual, and there is less pressure on you to ask and for her to answer. She won’t feel like you’re looking for an answer, but more that you’re just having a natural conversation.

2. The direct way.

If the girl you’re getting to know knows what your intentions are and that you’re serious about her, she won’t care or think that it’s weird if you explain that it’s important to you to know the answers to some questions you have wanted to ask her because you want to see if there really could be a future with her or if it will simply stay friendly.

It could surprise you to see how mature and understanding people can be when you are direct and explain why you want to know the answers to those questions.

3. Prepare yourself.

Be ready with the personal questions you want to ask her in the back of your mind, just in case the right time to ask comes along. You don’t want to take too long to ask these questions, so it’s a good idea to have an idea of what you’d like to say and which questions will let you know if she makes it or breaks it.

4. Question her answers.

If you receive a reply you’re not thrilled about, subtly have her see your point of view, and if she can respect your opinion despite thinking differently, that’s a positive thing, if not, you know you should move on. It’s always important to get her point of view on things and question her answers to better understand how she views things.

How Not to Ask Personal Questions

When you’re asking personal questions, you have to remember that the person might feel a little bit vulnerable when sharing their answers with you, so there are some simple guidelines you should follow.

1. Don’t joke around with the questions.

If you’re joking around when you’re asking her these questions, she might respond sarcastically and not with her real, honest answer, or she might not take you seriously. You can still keep the conversation light without making jokes.

2. Don’t ask her personal questions if you’ve just met her.

You should only be asking her personal questions if you think you might want to be in a relationship with her. Usually, this means that you’ve known each other for a little while, and you’ve gotten the chance to feel comfortable with each other, you’ve been on several dates, and the next step would likely be for her to become your girlfriend.

3. Don’t change the subject.

Once you’ve asked her a personal question, it’s important not to get off topic too soon and to continue to talk about it until you’ve received an answer. These aren’t questions you’ll want to ask all the time because it could make your conversation feel serious, and you don’t want to have serious conversations every single day.

4. Don’t ask her when there are distractions.

You don’t want to ask these kinds of questions when you’re with friends, or if either of you could get easily distracted, because you don’t want there to be distractions while having this type of conversation.

What Personal Questions to Ask a Girl

The following are personal questions you should ask a girl before getting too serious with her. Some might not seem like they matter now, but there’s a good chance they will matter further down the line.

What are your views on religion?

For some people, religion isn’t very important, but it’s still important to know if her family is very religious. If her family is very religious, and you have a different religion, or you’re not religious, it could be a waste of time to try to be in a relationship together. Her family may not understand your differences, and they may try to impose on your relationship.

If you’re both people that believe in marriage and want kids, your kids would also be affected by this, and they would likely have to be raised with her and her family’s religious views. This is why it’s important to discuss religion from the very beginning.

What are your retirement plans?

It’s a good idea to see what she has in mind for when she’s older and wants to settle down some more and retire. Does she have a specific retirement dream she hopes to fulfill? Perhaps she has a place in mind that she would like to move to and explore life there.

Is she willing to compromise if you both want different things, or are you willing to forfeit what you had in mind to fulfill her retirement dreams? Although it seems like it’s something that is still far away, it’s something you should talk about to avoid issues years later.

Does she have or want children?

It’s very important to have this conversation, and it shouldn’t be weird to ask these questions because they impact you greatly. Perhaps you have children, and you should also ask her how she feels about you having children and if she would be interested in being in their lives.

If you don’t have children, and she does, that also brings up another topic which is if her past partner is in the picture and what their dynamic is. This could also impact your relationship with her, so it’s a good idea to talk about it.

However, the most important discussion is about if she wants to have kids. You may be pleased with her answer or not, depending on what you want. It is absolutely something that needs to be discussed between the two of you.

What does she think about debt?

It’s important to know how she feels about debt, if she has any debts, how she handles debt, etc. Her answers should align with what you think about debt because if they don’t, you will face lots of negative discussions about your finances.

Does she have a job?

Her financial situation shouldn’t be too important, as it shouldn’t matter if she has a lot of money or not, but it is important to know if she has a job or what she does to make a living and support herself. You might be very hardworking, so you expect her to also be hardworking so you can be a power couple.

On the other hand, maybe she has an extremely demanding job that requires her to travel or simply be at the office for a long time. This could also impact you now and in the future. Just remember, everyone is different, and it’s important to be aware of her work habits and see how they fit into your life.

What are her views on politics?

Similar to knowing her views on religion, it might not affect you, but there is a chance it could. Knowing her views on politics and who she supports can say a lot about her and how she views other things.

You should go into the conversation where you’ll ask the personal questions you want to know the answers to well prepared so that you’re not fumbling with your words and you can have a smooth conversation.

Remember that some of these topics might be a little bit harder to discuss if she is afraid that her answers won’t match yours or that you might judge her for these answers, so try to be nice and supportive throughout the conversation.