Most people believe that there is no way around long-distance relationships. Never have I met someone saying,
“I’m in a long-distance relationship, and I love it.”
Most people believe that long-distance relationships won’t work because you do not see each other as frequently as you’d like. In fact, I have been in a situation where close friends and relatives discourage dating someone who is in a different geographical location.
To be honest, long-distance relationships are not easy to handle. At the same time, they are not rocket science, and we can figure things out and have a meaningful relationship.
We do not choose who we fall in love with. After all, the heart wants what it wants. As such, we may find ourselves falling in love with someone working in Asia or Africa, and we live and work in Miami or even Canada.
So, how are we supposed to make things work? How are we supposed to handle the lonely and sad times? Without a shred of doubt, distance always makes a lot of things unachievable. It complicates most parts of our daily lives, especially if we have a family with our better halves.
We all know that absence makes the world grow fonder. However, there is a way of making the best come out of sad situations like being physically apart from your partner. In as much as it might sound outrageous, long-distance relationships have their advantages.
I can attest to this because I’m a living witness to its success. My parents recently celebrated their 28th anniversary, and I just found out that they met when they were on safari in Africa.
At the time, my dad was on vacation while my mother worked with the United Nations at different refugee camps in various African countries.
I found it weirdly astonishing that they started dating in Africa and they were in touch for three years after which mum came back to the States, and they tied the knot. Absurd, right? Probably not.
I have heard of similar stories. People have fallen in love and have dated without seeing each other for months or years, and they still make their relationships work. So, is there some magic portion that these people use? Absolutely not!
After finding out about how my parents met, I went on to do thorough research on how long-distance relationship work and I was shocked to find out more than 10 ways in which couples can survive without being physically close for a long time and still make it through. The following are 11 tips on how to make long-distance relationships work:
Communicate, but not excessively
For any relationship to work, be it at your workplace, school, at home, or with your new partner, you need to be in constant touch. Communication is crucial in developing relationships.
It’s the only way that will make you know how someone is fairing on or what is going on in their lives. We live at a time where we have faster means of communication, and we can exchange messages within microseconds.
We also have video calls — what a time to be alive. Long-distance relationship couples can take advantage of this and communicate whenever they want to.
However, relationship experts warn about the dangers of spamming your partner’s inbox with too many messages or calling after every hour to check upon them. It’s a total buzzkill that shows that you are either insecure or too possessive.
Communicating 10 hours a day does not indicate that you care or that you are concerned. In fact, it tends to make things worse, especially if you are in a new relationship. Less is more. Allow your ‘absence’ to make your partner to long for you.
Spamming his/her phone with texts and calls will make them be like, “oh boy, here we go again with the usual drill.”
Set Some Ground Rules
Rules are the only things that set us apart from animals. They make things, and situations flow smoothly. You should be clear with each other about your expectations when you are physically apart.
Come up with rules that will not take your partner by surprise. For instance, you can agree to be calling each other at a specific time in the morning and making video calls at the end of the day.
Doing this will help avoid embarrassing situations like receiving random phone calls or video calls in the middle of a meeting at work.
Talk Dirty to Each Other
Talking dirty has its magic; it keeps couples glued to each other even though they are thousands of miles apart. It creates some sexual tension that makes both parties look forward to the day they’ll meet. It is not only biological, but it also takes care of your emotional well-being.
Keep your romance alive by sending naughty texts full of sexual innuendos. Tell your partner what you’d like to do to them, or what you’d like them to do to you when you eventually together.
Make Use of Snail Mails
When I found out about how my parents met, I was eager to know how they made their relationship work out, so I asked them how they did it. They told me that they regularly sent each other love letters. During their first year apart, they exchanged over fifty letters.
Snail mails are useful because they are physical evidence of your partner’s feelings towards you. To spice things up, you can spray your letter with favorite cologne so that it can have your scent.
Speaking of snail mails, you can also exchange parcels bearing gifts from your loved ones. Gifts make bonds grow stronger. They not only remind you of your partner, but they also soothe you when you look at them after having a rough day.
You can gift your boyfriend a watch or buy your girlfriend a pair of shoes or an elegant dress in her favorite color.
Give Each Other Pet Names
Other than buying each other gifts, you can give each other sweet pet names. Or better yet, buy them a pet and make them name it after you.
When it comes to giving each other cute names, you are not restricted to pet names. You can call your partner a sweet name as long as they are cool with it and they do not find it offensive.
Do Things Together
When you make it a habit to do things together, your relationship will go to the next level. Doing things together when you are physically apart is easy, thanks to technology. Today, you can play online games with each other.
You can call your partner via Skype and play them their favorite instrument while singing together. You can also watch documentaries or a movie at the same time on Vimeo or YouTube and discuss them while texting each other.
Who said Netflix and Chill is impossible when you are physically apart?
Do Similar Things and Share the Same Interests
Recommend news, music, movies, TV shows and books to each other. When you listen, watch, or read similar things, you have a lot in common to talk about meaning that your conversations will not be filled with fillers. You also get to share some experiences even if you are living apart.
Sharing the same interests will also strengthen your bond. For instances, if you both love karate, yoga, or swimming, you’ll both have time to do or partake in activities that you both like when you finally get together without getting bored or pretending that you love an activity when you don’t.
Have a Common Vision
Having a common goal will see you be together for a lifetime. It is crucial to have common goals that you both want to mark as achieved milestones. Such goals could be living together after a certain period, raising kids together, going on vacations twice or thrice a year, or establishing a business.
The advantage of having common goals is that they bring you closer to each other because you both have common interests.
Visit Each Other
After all the abstinence, yearning, and waiting, you should make arrangements to meet each other as regularly as you can. When you are finally together, simple things common to couples such as holding hands and kissing will seem extra special or extra intimate since you were physically separated for a long time.
The moment you meet will be like rainbows, butterflies, confetti, glitter bombs, and fireworks. You will both experience the magical moment you were both looking forward to.
Make Use of Chat Lines
Chat lines are tried and tested social platforms that have proved to come in handy to couples, especially for those who live far away from each other.
Chat lines break the monotony of normal texting and the fact that you have to schedule a specific time for chatting makes it more exciting since you both have something that you can look forward to by the end of the day.
Many people in a romantic relationship, especially married couples, have survived to live apart and have still managed to keep their unions afloat. At times, we might be separated by military duties, school, missionary duties, or work duties.
However, if you look into successful long-distance relationships, they all have all the tips discussed in this article in common. If you want your long-distance relationship to flourish, follow these tips like the 10 commandments, and you will not regret it.