November 2, 2019
We live in an era where there are numerous romantic books, poems, and movies that glorify love at first sight. Good examples include Leonardo DiCaprio’s ‘Titanic’, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s ‘The Great Gatsby,’ and William Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet.’
The concept of love, at first sight, is as old as time. It has been a topic of discussion by famous authors, poets, playwrights, psychologist, love experts, and other professions for a long time.
During the Biblical times, some ancient writers, such as Solomon, the wisest person who ever lived on our planet, discussed and wrote poems and Books such as Songs of Songs (Songs of Solomon) that talked about love.
Chapter 4 verse 9 of Songs by Solomon says, “You have ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; you have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes, with one link of your necklace.”
Solomon’s father, King David, saw Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba from the roof of his palace taking a bath at a nearby pool and ordered one of his servants to call her after which they slept together.
From these two Biblical references, one from the wisest man who ever lived, and the other from the greatest king to ever rule, do you think there is something as ‘love at first sight’ or is it ‘lust at first sight?’
This topic is full of juice, and we will analyze it from all perspectives so that you can make a rational, independent decision. Today, I could walk into a mall, throw a boomerang, and it will at least hit a dozen people who will claim that they believe in love at first sight because they have experienced it at some point of their lives.
Each will have their story that justifies their belief. Others will say that they have never experienced it and will swear by their lives that they do not believe in love at first sight. So, when it comes to the topic of discussion, it is either you believe it exists, or it doesn’t; it all comes down to personal opinion and experience.
What Do the Numbers Suggest?
Most people, especially mathematics geeks, believe that numbers don’t lie. So, what do statistics show? A survey seeking to find out if people believe in love, at first sight, showed that 72% of men and 61% of women are of the opinion that ‘love at first sight’ is real.
The reason why more men than women believe in this concept is that they are more visual. Several science theories also seem to suggest that love, at first sight, is real. Data collection from an American study by Match’s Singles indicated that many people believe that it is possible to fall in love at first sight.
I believe that falling for someone the instant you meet is possible because I have experienced it. I fell in love with my first girlfriend the moment I laid my eyes on her while giving a public lecture on ‘Love and Relationships.’
I walked on stage after the MC made a quick introduction, took a deep breath, grabbed the mic, and made a glance across the hall when my eyes fell on Daisy. I felt an instant and electric effect for she immediately swept me off my feet.
Prince Harry will most likely second my opinion since he admitted to instantly falling in love with Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, the very moment he laid his eyes on her.
What Do the Experts Say?
Throughout my public lecture session, I avoided making eye contact with Daisy to prevent her aura from distracting me from my goal of delivering a perfect speech. For the first time in my life, I felt the so much talked about butterflies in the stomach.
I guess I was experiencing what DR. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, refers to as the romantic love that runs along specific chemical and electrical pathways in the brain.
The warm, fuzzy feelings I’m talking of are as a result of our brain secreting organic chemicals known as serotonin and dopamine. These chemicals make our brains look like that of people high on heroin.
These chemicals are responsible for the feelings of instant attachment towards a person as long as you sense that they feel the same way as you do.
Dr. Fisher insists that love, at first sight, is a basic drive, like hunger and thirst. The same way water and food keeps us alive; romantic love leads to mating, which ensures our DNA continues. It also leads to affection and attachment.
Those who believe in the concept of love, at first sight, will tell you that they experienced any of the following signs
1. They Felt a Little Bilious Upon Meeting Them
80% of the people who admitted to believing in love, at first sight, admitted to feeling nauseous when they met the person they are attracted to. This is because our feelings somehow impact our digestive systems or other physical sensations, especially when there is a strong brain-gut connection.
We experience the butterflies in our stomachs when we are sad, angry, happy, anxious, or when we meet someone we are into.
2. They Felt the Urge of Knowing Everything about Them
Have you ever come across a person who fascinates you to a point where you want to know every single detail of their life? If so, what you experienced was probably a feeling of love at first sight. Feeling attracted to someone does not mean you are seeds of the same pod;
knowing them is the only way you’ll see if you are truly compatible. When you are curious about a person, you ask as many questions as you can, and consequently, your questions will lead to intimate conversations. On the other hand, less curious people engage in small talks.
3. They Become the Apple of Each Other’s your Eyes
When you both feel attracted to each other, you don't see or hear anyone else other than the person you are attracted to. It’s during such moments that you often find your eyes lock. People who are attracted to each other look at each other as much as they can.
Maintaining eye contact is an excellent fliting technique. It shows you are attracted to someone without uttering a single word. Maintaining eye contact makes most people feel like they are falling in love.
4. They Felt a Sense of Familiarity
Most people who claim to have experienced love at first sight always feel like they met their crush at some point in their lives. They are naturally comfortable when they are with each other, and nothing feels forced. It is hard to connect when you are with someone who makes you nervous.
However, when you are relaxed, you are yourself, and you do not have to worry about making a good first impression. You freely share your opinions without the fear of feeling judged.
5. They Felt Each Other’s Mannerism as Super Appealing
Getting attracted to another person’s mannerism is a sign of falling in love with them. If you find yourself loving how they smile, talk, or walk means that you feel an instant bond with them. During such times, you overlook their flaws and are blind to any of their shortcomings.
Other signs that show you are attracted to someone, at first sight, include increased body temperature, a natural or unforced smile, and an increased heart rate. These happen because your brain is continually releasing endorphins (serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine).
How about Those Who Don’t Believe in Love at First Sight?
We are all different, and if we were wired the same, the world would die from boredom and lack of a sense of new. People who are not believers of ‘love at first sight’ will tell you that you are probably experiencing any of the following:
1. The Fear of Aging
Those who time is not on their side may find themselves in a situation where they are trying to beat the clock desperately. They know that they are not growing any younger, and they have the urge to settle down and have kids. Such people will likely force the feeling of love, at first sight, the moment they come across someone they consider as attractive.
2. Compensation for Loneliness
It is normal to feel left out when most of your friends are either in serious and stable relationships, getting engaged, renewing their vows, or when they are tying the knot. There is a possibility of feeling the pressure of finding a perfect match as fast as you can.
You may think that you have been single for too long and that you need to settle. As such, you may often come across a hot person and believe that you have experienced love at first sight. However, this is far from the case. The chances are high that you are lonely, and you need to settle down.
3. A strong Attraction
Feeling attracted to someone is very different from love at first sight. The feeling of attraction is nothing more than a physical urge or a halo effect.
You might talk to each other and feel a spark or some butterflies in your stomach, but it’s nothing more than desire. Circumstances may make you feel like you are strongly attracted to someone.
Feeling an instant connection when you’ve met someone who fascinates you is somewhat worth pursuing, but never jump to the conclusion that its love. Doing so would be jumping the gun, which can leave you between a rock and a hard place when it comes to affairs of the heart.
Numerous people feel in love the instant they met each other, and some made wrong decisions based on wrong judgments. Before you get into something serious, make sure that you take your time and get to know the person you have a crush on before making any commitments.