September 1, 2019
“Why Am I So Insecure?”
If you are struggling with feelings of insecurity, just remember that you're not the only one. Hundreds of thousands of people experience feelings of insecurity all the time.
For some, it's a passing emotion that pops up every other day or within certain situations; but for others, it's an ever-present problem that requires a serious solution.
If you belong to the latter category, or if you're just struggling with a growing sense of insecurity, the following information will allow you to overcome your problems.
1. Unknown or Repressed Emotions
Sometimes, insecurity can be caused by repressed emotions. People who have repressed feelings of jealousy, anger or frustration will eventually develop chronic insecurity, partly because they are constantly second-guessing themselves, and partly because repressed emotions lead to neurosis.
If you are experiencing this problem then the best thing for you to do is to gradually release your repressed feelings. For starters, you can release your frustrations through creative outlets, like music, art or literature.
It doesn't matter if you're actually good at these things. What matters is that you unleash the pent up emotions which are making you feel insecure and frustrated at your life.
If you're not into art, music or literature, try to take up any activity that allows you to get rid of your frustrations. Sport is a good option but if that doesn't work, try therapeutic yoga or even certain forms of modern dance.
You can also find all kinds of DIY therapeutic activities on the internet, though you should also confirm their efficacies before you try any of them.
Finally, if your repressed emotions are being caused by a particular person, don’t be afraid to confront them. Standing up to people on their bad behavior is never easy, but if they are the source of your insecurities then you will need to stand up to them sooner or later.
2. Emotional and Physical Stress
There are some people who develop insecurity issues because of emotional and physical stress. The good news is that this type of insecurity is largely temporary.
As soon as your stress has died down, or you no longer feel like you're being pressured to do things, the insecurity also fade away. The bad news, however, is that stressful situations may trigger them again.
Consider a difficult and stressful job like editing news reports for example. News editors are constantly under pressure to make sure that the news reports the release of their publication are free from grammatical mistakes, typos as well as false information, and this pressure causes some of them to be insecure whenever they are doing their job.
Not only are they under a lot of emotional pressure to make everything perfect, but they are also under constant physical stress due to deadlines.
Another good example is meeting people whom you resent, such as a boss or an ex. These types of people can cause you all kinds of emotional stress, particularly if you have strong feelings towards them.
If you're experiencing these kinds of insecurities then you should work on your physical and emotional well-being. You should also need to learn to relax more.
If the problem is due to your job then you will need to have a talk with your boss, or you should go job-hunting for new employment. If the problem is a certain person, such as a girlfriend or an ex, then you will need to have a long talk with them, and confront them on your terms.
3. Specific Criticisms from Certain People
Insecurity can also develop from specific problems and concerns. For example, if you recently broke up with your girlfriend then you may feel insecure around women or just people in general.
This is because breakups often unleash all kinds of negative emotions, and such emotions can manifest themselves as feelings of insecurity.
Another good example is criticism. Criticisms - constructive or otherwise - can cause people to feel insecure about themselves and their activities. There are certain people who respond very poorly towards criticisms, which in turn causes them to feel stressed out and insecure.
Take, for example, a girlfriend or ex-girlfriend's criticisms. Most guys take such criticisms seriously because they crave their girl's approval for the sake of their relationships.
Were such criticisms to come from other sources, they wouldn't really care, but because they come from their girlfriends the guys will become insecure.
If you regularly experience these kinds of insecurities then the first thing that you need to do is to recognize those things that 'trigger' them.
Do you feel insecure around a certain person, item or activity? Also, do certain words or phrases make you feel insecure?
Once you have identified what these triggers are, you can begin to confront them, or if that doesn't work avoid them. Fewer triggers mean fewer instances of insecurity.
4. Trauma (and the Fear That Such Trauma Will Repeat Itself)
There are people who develop chronic insecurities because of past traumas. A few good examples include childhood abuse, bad sexual experiences, physical abuse, near-death situations and various others.
People whose insecurities are caused by past traumas usually have subconscious emotional complexes that cause them to feel insecure at the most inopportune times. These situations may be triggered by a phrase or action, or they may be caused by random stimuli.
Fortunately, insecurities caused by intense trauma are fairly rare. However, if you think your insecurities are caused by such past events then you will need to consider your options carefully.
Certain minor traumas, such as bad experiences or recurring embarrassing memories, can be overcome through introspection and family support, while others are solved with the help of a group.
Maybe you had an embarrassing junior year at high school or maybe you have weight issues. It sounds silly but these things can make people insecure, and you shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for support if you think these are the source of your problems.
The same is not true for major traumas, however. If your insecurities are the result of past mental or emotional abuse then you will need to consult a licensed psychiatrist to help you deal with the problem.
5. Risk-Taking Behavior
There are people who experience insecurities due to their risk-taking personalities. For example, a chronic gambler may eventually develop the tendency to second guess everything that he does.
Likewise, there are stock traders whose jobs often seep into their daily lives, making them more insecure than the average person, particularly when making important decisions.
Although risk-taking is a good character trait in moderation, some people take it one step further, and over time, it becomes a serious problem. Not only do they develop insecurities, but they may also become a little addicted to the entire risk-taking process.
Again, consider people with gambling problems. These persons may seem aggressive and self-assured but they can also be quite insecure due to the ever-present risk of failure.
So if you think your insecurities are influenced by risky activities then you will need to deal with them as though they are addiction or a bad habit. You will need to avoid taking risks, but more importantly, you will need to put yourself in situations where you are calm and you don't have to take any hasty actions.
Remember, insecurities are often caused by the pressure to act or perform in a certain way. If you can remove this pressure from your life then you will be able to avoid the urge to carry out high-risk activities, which in turn will allow you overcome your insecurities.
6. Insecurity May Result From Irrational Perceptions
Finally, there are also insecurities that result from irrational perceptions and assumptions. For example, if you feel that people are constantly judging you or trying to put you down then you may be the victim of your own irrational perceptions.
That isn't to say that there aren’t judgemental people out there but they are not as common as you think.
Paranoid persons are great examples of people who become insecure because of irrational perceptions. They feel that there are people who are always out to get them, and that they can never let their guard down.
Unfortunately, paranoia is not something that can easily be self-diagnosed. If you think your insecurity is caused by this problem then you should consult a therapist.
You may also want to join a group that helps paranoid people overcome their problems. No one likes to think that he or she is paranoid, but if you have this problem then you should take action accordingly.
Finally, if you think your insecurities are based on irrational thoughts then you should consider the possibility that it’s a symptom of a much deeper problem.
If that is the case then you should be open to the possibility of further professional help or even medication.